Getting older is something that is scary and exciting at the same time. It’ s scary because you are no longer a child and much is required of you especially if you are the first born. People see you, they think you have cash,some expect you to already have either settled or moved out of your folks house (btw I have done none of these. Still living with my parents and am not in a hurry. ) It is expected that you know what you want in life, that you have a stable job or business, I don’t know or driving a posh car. These are just some of the expectations. The exciting part is leaving an old year especially if it was full of frustrations and disappointments. Birthdays are my favorite things and to my future husband, note that I appreciate if you remember it before I do LOL.
This night, as I close not just another year, but a decade in my life, I reflect on the many things that have happened to me. Things that I wasn’t proud of, things that I am proud of, things that I regret, things that I feel I should do better, things and people that I should leave. I reflect on how far God has brought me, the dreams He has made to happen, the things that I am still waiting on Him to perform, the prayers that have been answered and the ones that are still in the making. I thank Him for all of that because if I look closely, He has done more than all the things I keep pestering Him to perform. For instance, finishing school both my undergrad and masters was not a walk in the park. Anyone who has studied in a public university understands that marks disappear, you get a crazy supervisor who will frustrate you till you curse the day you were born. Woe unto you if you get one who is as old as Methuselah and they don’t know what emails and Wassups are. Those you call and their ears are too dull that they cant detect whether its a mat hooting or a car mewing. I tell you people have funny stories about supervisors and projects. Finishing it successfully is something that deserves thanksgiving and celebration. And am thankful dear Lord, totally thankful.
So here are some of the things I would like to tell the younger me, things that I wish she knew and kept going:
- You came in this world alone, you shall leave it alone. So many times we are with our friends, family and those close to us and we get a tendency of following the crowd to get their approval or because we just don’t know what to do. It doesn’t matter who they are, you came in this world alone, make your own decisions not one that is influenced by others. I am a bible person, so I’d say look at the grasshopper, it has no leader yet it moves in order. Let your life have order that comes from within not without. You are the head and not the tail, that means that you set the pace. So set it and stop waiting on people to make decisions for you 20year old Harriet.
- Stop thinking about marriage. Despite the fact that your hormones are raging, marriage is not everything. Thank God for those guyz that broke up with you and thank God for the ones that didn’t work out. Stop crying, now that we are at the end of the road,it great that they left. You would have not attained what you have right now. Some would have made you a stay at home mum, taking care of children, washing their panties, never understanding that you too have a calling and purpose. Some of those men would have cheated on you with your maid or worse, best friend. let them go, forgive them and release them from your heart. It’s not worth it dear Harriet.
- Take charge of your life. No one is obligated to help you so don’t be bitter about anyone who is not. Your rich aunt will not help you as much as she has all the connections and ability to do so. Or your boss, despite the fact that they are bringing millions to the company with your sweat and you are working as hard as an ant to ensure that everything is coming together. Earn your success so that no one lays claim that if it wasn’t for them you wouldn’t be where you are. get there and prove that you don’t need anyone but your hard work and God.And always give God the glory when you get there. He’s the only dependable rock that you have. All other ground is sinking including people and achievements.
- Never believe what people say. People make promises to break them so don’t hold a grudge if they do it and don’t believe them when they do. Only rare breed of people keep their word and if you find them, hold on tight to them. Those chaos are loyal!
- Laugh laugh laugh..You are too gloomy for life Harriet. the people that are making you sad in a few years you will never see them. Ever in your life. Nothing lasts forever, no situation, no people, so rejoice always.
- Nothing just happens. Everything, whether you clean toilets, sell mitumbas, all these are building you up for something greater so don’t ignore any contact or experience. Don’t despise your days of small beginnings as they are shaping you up for your future and more so, you will somehow need it in future. Trust me on this one. So take heed.
- Listen to your parents and never let anything separate you from them. They are the only people who care about you. Who are obligated to be with you till either you die or they die. They are blood, they are family. Never leave family. Friends come and go and they sort themselves out.One day, you will be enemies with your friend but your family will be there so treat them well especially your parents.
- Be proud of where you are and what you have achieved. When you are low, people will not want to associate with you, when things start falling in place, you’ll meet all sorts of people. Some will love you genuinely. Love them back. Some become jealous of you not understanding what you’ve been through to get there. Others are your competitors, trying to beat you in every way not understanding that each person has their own course, and eagles don’t collide. Others will never like you no matter what you do to them. Be at peace with that, don’t even wake up at night thinking about what you did to them. This applies to Facebook too lol. they will never like your status even if its something informative. Be at peace and be proud of yourself because God loves you and He is with you. That’s all that matters.
- Shut up. You are declaring negative things about your life and you’ll eat what you say. Shut up if you have nothing good to say about you.
- Eat eat eat…project five kilos here we go…love food, stop eating while working.
- I know your life seems jumbled up, but you’ll understand your purpose. Keep walking.
- Emerald is your favorite color, not blue lol
- Stop wearing weaves. Lines look better on you.
- Tweeze your eyebrows Harriet. You look better, don’t be scared!
- Things will get better Harriet. Your star is shinning brighter and brighter never give up.
So, let me be the first person to wish myself happy birthday….Keep learning..This new decade is full of greatness and purpose…