This man I call my father

He is tall, dark with thick hair. From the time I was brought forth into this beautiful world, I have never seen my father bald. He has this long thick hair that I recall plaiting when I was young. He would come from work exhausted but always carrying something for us. I would in turn be up with a comb, waiting anxiously to plait my living doll, searching for the new hairstyles my dad would adorn. My dad never minded that. I would steal my mom’s clips and then he would gladly look at himself on the mirror and say, its perfect my dear. I see you are getting better and better in your hair dressing style. This only happened when I was an only child. Lol.

He taught me how to pray. I remember, he used to up to date, have this mat that he would lay on the floor, and he would lay a little mat on the floor and then he would fold my hands and show me how to kneel when I pray. And I would peep at times, because of course I never understood what he said, waiting for him to finish, and  would in the end shout a loud Amen once he was done. It grew on me, that trait. That pious nature, always in church and stuff. As I grew older, we went for early mass together before work.I loved the focus and peace that it brought to me the entire day, so I got addicted to it and even when alone, I always found myself drawn to the supernatural power that transcended my reasoning, my ability to perform things beyond my strength. Most houses would praise this trait on their mothers, but for me it’s my father who laid this foundation.  I believe that this is the one thing that has kept me intact and focused. Divine grace not my power or might.


As I grew older, dad became tougher, ensuring that as the first born I set great example to my siblings. and this grew on me, always never wanting to disappoint him, working hard, staying focused. Of course, I had my moments of failure which up to now am still recovering from but am thankful that he was still there. Never understanding what to do but trying anyway to be perfect, to set the right example, to lead a family in the best way he could know how. Armed with a mantra, ‘ So please help me God’,  he ensured that his children went to the best schools and lacked nothing despite the fact that he himself sometimes went without, sometimes sacrificed, praying and believing that the God that he prayed to every morning will reward his efforts and bring good success to his five children.



I write snippets episodes of  my father for many reasons. Not to expose him to the cruel social media pages and the public space but to show the disparity between the men of then and the men of now. To show how wide their characters are apart, yet, they all came from similar cloths, similar mindsets. Well, some of you may concur with me that your fathers had similar behavior. Most, not all as some were too busy chasing money, were family men, grounded , came home early, checked on your homework and never missed your school meetings. They were involved in your life, believed in family above all.

Being that Father’s day is here with us am scared of the extinction of men like my father. Men who are not perfect, yet they try and make it work. Men who bring order and structure in the family. Men who value women beyond their body and see her as their glory. A man is a ‘father’ to his wife, to the inner child in her that yearns to be loved, that seeks attention, that wants to grow and develop to maturity, that seeks guidance and direction. Men who love their wives as though she is their own flesh, feed her, take care of her and above all lead the way in revealing God to his family. Because it’s never about the strength of a man and what he can do, but it is in who he is plugged into. A higher source of power that is beyond his ego. What he thinks makes it work for him. This is the highest and purest form of humility that a man can possess.


I just wish they passed they taught their little boys the right things. I wish men were taught, right from when they were babies that families matter. Yes achievements and success matters, but family matters. Families create nations. It’s a tree that creates a forest in future. Fathers are the seed to the future. they birth generations. Their words are power and life. They create and destroy. Their families reflect the glory of who they are. Their essence. This translates to how a nation will be 100 years from now. So for men out there who think that families are not important, who think that you can just play girls, scatter seeds and live your own life. Think clearly and soberly. Your life is not your own,neither are your actions. You are affecting an entire nation with your actions. With your insensitive, callous nature. With your so called wisdom that is in fact foolishness. Shine your eyes.

Is there any redemption, any remnant who think otherwise? Happy fathers day!


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